About Brave Girl
Songwriting is creative and fun, but also deeply personal, and requires time and consideration. I have spent anywhere between twenty minutes and five days to write a song. Songs came relatively easily. Until now.
Brave Girl was initially written as a personal diary song, a letter written to myself as an encouragement to heal after my own experiences of emotional and sexual abuse in the music industry...
It started with a sudden reflection on a specific period of my life, releasing the suppression of those memories, and the ugly realization of it all. Then came the shock, shame, emotional pain, deep anger, and sadness. Months of weekly private counseling was exhausting and painful, but it allowed me to bleed out the pain and start healing.
Over months, I carefully chose the proper moments to open up to my husband, sons, friends, and family, only sharing what they needed to know at the time. Uncharacteristic of me, it meant hiding for a while, declining social gatherings and our church’s services. Instead, I reserved my energy for myself, my husband and sons, and my work. It was extremely difficult and emotionally draining.
I fashioned a homemade bracelet, a simple wire bracelet with metal bead letters that spelled “Brave”. I wore it as my personal reminder to be brave (while in public (afraid of being touched, patted, and hugged), while around men, in talking through my pain,...). I wore it for months, until I knew I needed to do something about it. I let go of that bracelet and walked on.
In June 2019, in a moment of clarity, and a tug on my soul from God, I knew I needed to write about my experience. Never had songwriting been so complicated. It was emotional and deeply personal stuff, and some stuff needs to stay private. This one would take time. A long time. Six months in prayer for wisdom and courage, a moment of enlightenment and a concept, fourteen pages of lyrics and rough drafts, voice memos, re-writing melodies, dozens of eraser markings, and thousands of tears, Brave Girl was the hardest song I had ever written.
I then knew it was a song I needed to share. It wasn’t just a personal diary song anymore - it was also a message of hope I knew someone else needed to hear. That, though, would require revealing a deeply personal part of my life. Praying for courage and bravery, God has shown me how.
God has sustained me within this dark time. My husband and sons have been incredibly loving, patient, gentle, and supportive. So have the few in who I chose to confide. Still, I continue to heal, receive counsel, and only discuss details of this part of myself with those I choose.
Brave Girl is a special song. Initially written as an encouragement to myself, it’s now yours, too. If you are a survivor of abuse, please know that Jesus loves you. And He cries with you, too. Take time to talk and work through those hurts with a trusted pastor or counselor, and confide only in those you trust with only what you want to share at the moment. Ask God for continual healing as you do. Keep walking. Keep talking. Then, one day you’ll know that who you are is only who God says you are.
You are remarkable, a conqueror, and loved, Brave Girl.